There will come a day, I won't know how absurd I'm acting
How to put these feelings into words
My guilt will overcome me, I'll get anxious & high
Drink myself in a mind state less awkward about lies
Reminisce of friends who may have actually cared
How I never notice their strength in me until they're not there
The age in my body weighed against what I've done
Missing spark of respect & emotion of loving someone
Misunderstanding, looks I get from lost rambling
Smirks in entertainment, shame in how we're smiling
Standing in a mirror shaking in judgement for what I'm finding
I don't think I want to know you. That's that
There are few strings left to hold me and I teeter where I'm at
When these words are gone
I'll be lost without remedy drinking til I spin
With the world hoping I'm damn good at pretending
(Suffocating, Hide your face, Tear it down)
I just want to sleep, you're not as honest when conscious
You've run this life too deep & learn to automate your compliments
I'm hungover, losing touch with what I do this for
Somewhere between survival of the fittest and God's bathroom floor
I found a spot that belonged in my bedroom, writing this alone
How I meant it, how I stared, he quoted sounding it home
So why do I feel so wrong
How come Speech doesn't relate to you assholes unless it's in song
How do you find it a just cause to respond
Why do I say things so alien & end with connections so fine
All I become as a rapper, i need it for my definition
In fact I can't explain much else of what I am, only what isn't
It's the only way you listen besides a pride in what's given forms
A pedestal to fabricate at odds in place of true image
Lack lust in the daylight dead to this world
I'm talking to myself I thought I'm anxiously swallowing too often
(Suffocate in it, hide your face, tear it down)
So keep your face out my lyrics, stay the fuck where you're from
It's not meant for you to hear it, you're the major reason it's done
I can't say how I'm feeling, my eyes ache til i'm numb
Dry heaving in spirit, screaming from biting my tongue
You're the reason I'll be alone forever
Heading back to a place meant in the past together
But a gap where I left you
Refusing the weather
In that mass sharing what I've tethered like you can't catch
You don't belong here, You don't belong here
Should I say more and break my trust or hide my fear
When you felt more than welcomed
Crashing to relax
And what separates us completely and sat your fat ass
Where I built anything to cover, even the sight of your tracks
To feel my knees grow weak and suffer with you on my back
Why do you strain yourself in pressure in relationships
Avoid personal interactions and hermit to make this shit
Same reason you eat when you're not hungry
Same fault in your speech when you utter you love me
Same as empty sheets and struggling company
Same as accusing the one person
Who never looks at you judging same as baby pictures
An excuse of a text of past relationships
Related of how you currently act
In ugly efforts towards me like it gives you a pass
But I dont have the patience for such a Ridiculous math
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