As the gatekeepers decided, we would fade into the crowd
You took what makes you charming, and you turned it up too loud
How many songs does the band have to get through
Before you steal away the mic?
How many cakes do you have to jump out of
Before no one yells, "Surprise"?
I remember us both learning that no one's dreams come true
They're either not quite how you saw them
Or the goal post just gets moved
That's when you changed your expectations
And started rolling your third eye
But you still don't know the ending, you can't spoil the surprise
And now the nature of your birthday party's changed a lot for me
What was once a celebration feels like a shameless victory
I guess we all confuse our happiness
With what it takes to just survive
But the moment that the switch gets flipped is always a surprise
There's a little bit of poetry in what you're doing to your face
Removing all the evidence of our shared time and space
But your eyes close when you smile now
Because you're squeezing it too tight
If this is how you double down, you're in for a surprise
There's a night club deep in Hollywood for each night of the week
Watching all my fake friends congregate where no one wants to be
But you have to muddle through it if you wanna make it out alive
And the ones that find the other side are in for a surprise
Now, I'm not letting myself off easy here
I've been going through it, too
I might've leaned into things more gracefully
But what good did that do?
You found your way to rage against the dying of the light
I thought I planned for all contingencies
I thought I knew who I was meant to be
All those roads laid out in front of me
But it's still a big surprise
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