He rattled around in his borrowed house
Surrounded by new sheet disaster
Dinner and breakfast was scattered and smeared
With stories of meltdown reactors
His saxophone suffered amnesia
And the door sang the same old song
And the world was closing, closing in
On poor old Calamity John
On poor old Calamity John
He'd figured out just when it started
Freaking out at the nine o'clock blues
Life was a greenhouse, the windows were smashed
And the food was all battered and bruised
He set up some pears by the window
And watched them all pucker and brown
And that was the act that revealed the crack
In poor old Calamity John
Poor old Calamity John
He was caught on the company copier
His copying company crimes
And they freed the mind when they cut off the phone
Of poor old Calamity John
Of poor old Calamity John
Poor John, poor John
Now he's more paranoid than a president
And delights in the white of his eyes
And he lives in a shrine to these dangerous times
That poor old Calamity John
That poor old Calamity John
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