Of course, what makes breakfast in bed so special
Is you're lying down and eating bacon
The most beautiful thing on earth
Bacon's the best, even the frying of bacon sounds like applause
It's like, hah, yay, bacon!
You want to know how good bacon is?
To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon
If it weren't for bacon, we wouldn't even know what a water chestnut is
Thank you, bacon, sincerely, Water Chestnut the Third
And those bits of bacon, bits of bacon are like the fairy dust of the food community
You don't want this baked potato?
Now it's your favorite part of the meal
Not interested in the salad? Bibbidi-bobbidi-bacon!
I'll just turn it into an entrée
But once you put bacon in a salad, it's no longer a salad
Just becomes a game of find the bacon in the lettuce
It's like you're panning for gold, hmm, here we go! Bacon!
Not many ways to prepare bacon, you can either fry it or get botulism
It's amazing the shrinkage that occurs, you start with a pound, you end up with a bookmark
Really, the only bad part about bacon is it makes you thirsty for more bacon
I never feel like I get enough bacon, at breakfast, it's like they're rationing it
Here's your two strips of bacon, I want more! More bacon!
Whenever you're at a brunch buffet, and you see that big metal tray
Filled with the 4,000 pieces of bacon
Don't you almost expect a rainbow to be coming out of it?
I found it! I found the source of all bacon!
That bacon tray is always at the end of the buffet, you regret all the stuff on your plate
What am I doing with all this worthless fruit? I should have waited
If I had known you were here, I would have waited, I would eat only you, bacon
But you can't eat only bacon, 'cause it's terrible for you
You know bacon's bad when a healthier choice is a donut
Bacon's like the opposite of medicine, it's like, ah, take that, Lipitor, I'm bacon!
We've known bacon is bad for us for thousands of years
It's literally a restriction on entering certain religions
No rules, no killing, no cheating on your wife, no bacon, oh-oh
What was that last one? No bacon, I'm in the wrong line
Is there a bacon line around here? How many bacon jokes is this guy gonna do?
I mean, I like bacon, but come on!
The pig is an amazing animal, you feed a pig an apple, it makes bacon
I find that impressive, let's see Michael Phelps do that, huh?
The pig, the pig is turning an apple, essentially garbage, into bacon
That's magic, or the most successful recycling program ever
Really, the pig is man's best friend, I love dogs, but pigs would be good companions
And then when they die, you could have a barbecue
Sorry your pig died, can I come over for breakfast and have some bacon?
Bacon is that good
I bet if you put bits of bacon on a strip of bacon, you could travel back in time
It's like a tasty vortex, it'd be kind of redundant for me
'Cause I would just travel back to when I was eating bacon
It'd be a bacon-to-bacon time-space continuum
That's a nerdy-ass bacon Joke
Fatback, supposedly fatback's like bacon on steroids
Never tried fatback, probably 'cause it's called fat back
I don't know which word creeps me out more, fat or back
Why don't they just throw in hairy while they're at it?
There's some delicious hairy fatback
That reminds me your uncle called
That's gotta be the end of the bacon jokes, I even like the name bacon
You can't tell me the success of Kevin Bacon isn't somehow tied to his name
You're not going out to see a Kevin hot dog movie
Who's in this movie? Kevin Bacon? Sounds good
Bacon!
Comments (0)