Puff the magic tampon, live between her knees
And frolic in them awfulness, in the land of yeast and cheese
Puff the magic tampon, when he first took the plunge
Made a splash inside her gash, and swelled up like a sponge
Little Jacky's pecker, he loved that rascal puff
He fucked till his little head got red, he couldn't get enough
Then one day it happens, puffy sprang a leak
But don't complain you sleazy bitch, he's been in your box a week
Puff the magic tampon, live between her knees
And frolic in them awfulness, in the land of yeast and cheese
Puff the magic tampon, was thrown in the garbish can
And got recycled as fibre in, Kellogs Raisin Bran
This old man, he knows tricks
He beats on your balls with sticks
With a wig-wag, paddle-well, leave my balls alone
Go and beat on your own balls
This old man, he sucks dick
He'll get down there mighty quick
With a big bag scrotum full, dribblin' down his chin
This old man, he gives great rim
This old man's, lots of fun
Races gerbils up his bum
With a wig-wag, paddle-well, paddle number two
Shits them out when the race is through
This old man, do not disturb
He's doin' a bag lady on the curb
With a wig-wag, paddle-well, watch a whine-oh screw
Cruisin' dumpsters when they're through
This old man, he don't care
His hands are in his underware
With a wig-wag, paddle-well, wish it wasn't true
This old man will soon be you
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