Reach for the hand brake now, pull it upward, turn the wheel hard
In Danny's car, drifting in the parking lot, midnight at the church
How we'd float on in snowfall on ice sheets on the asphalt
In circles turned enclosing underneath
And in the backseat, you and I
Saw Calvary spinning after in the back of us, caught you in the glass
Reflected by the streetlights as we passed
I noticed the expressions didn't match
Laughter on the one
Contrasted sadness
The look in your eyes against your hands
The ceiling and your seatbelt off
Dependent on your strength to anchor you
So forceful was the curve sent careening into me first
When Danny sideways crashed into the curb
That's the first thing that came back the day I heard
And we would push a little further every time
Breaking into buildings overnight when we got bored
Bent on cheating death
Turned left on every red, the cars ahead slamming on the brakes
We found purpose in laughing after danger, a curse we shouted out
Shot a gun inside the house once
Leaned over the edge of the rooftop, my belt held in the back
Seven stories up to write my name
You carved "DIE YOUNG" with a pen in the skin below your neck
To keep your recklessness closer to the chest, a reminder to reject
A perpetual hanging threat, a promise you kept now
True to yourself, to the end, in a sense
I suspect you always felt that way
No exceptions for the time you spent in ours, and in mine
And you drifted far away from us in time
Out of mind, out of sight
What else is there to say now but goodbye?
And the last time I saw you, after years we spent apart
You came to my apartment just to talk
Dressed in a suit, said your life had gotten better
Even then I wasn't sure it was the truth
When Danny called to tell me, I didn't know how you had been
About the benchmarks you'd met in your life
The counterweights to tip, keep equal weight on either side
The anguish of existing unrequested and the joy to be alive
And I know now the truth that a lie is one too
That some things unsaid really aren't in the end
Chief of my regrets? When he told me how you'd died
I'm ashamed I felt surprised
By your own hand at night, fired once and survived
And then somehow again, I saw Calvary behind you in the light
Scattered your reflection in the doctrine, and I almost believed
We would enter in elected when we died
Carried by the "U" and the "I" in the TULIP, despite how hard we tried
Both our names circled twice
You and I would get ushered triumphant into heaven and the light
And you reached to find the brake, nothing there to pull
To be pulled back with grace
From the way you chose to bring yourself relief
Backwards, forwards on the ice
Circles spinning helpless at the edge, there again, you and I
What else is there to say now but goodbye?
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