Father worked nights, mother all day
There were no gripes, we would all pray
We were close knit, it was so strict
Well to most folks, that was okay
I was so young, pre-first grade
Them condone me alone, there was no way
But when it overlapped, it left an open gap
Call a babysitter, time to go play
And she was young too and it was fun too
Kid away from her home so she would come through
Or to a neighbor's house, they had a favorite couch
That everybody loved and we would run to
But it was uncool, what we succumb to
The shit we did see, becoming numb to
This wasn't untrue, what no one knew
The shit that she would do to me, nothing else could undo
Young and unaware, dealing with the strain
There's no reason to lie, 'cause there's nothing to gain
She told me strip down, no need to feel ashamed
She brought another child, she said let's play a game
My stomach's in a twist, what you expect, shit
I'm barely five or six, I don't know what sex is
I'm giving y'all the truth so I can set it right
This is the hardest song I had to ever write
[Hook: Kristyn Price and (A-Plus)
All that lays locked in me
Wasn't mine to hold on to
(The hardest song I could ever write)
And though it plagues a part of me
Don't wanna leave but I got to
(The hardest song I could ever write)
Yeah, and the memory I suppressed it
Depression is what's pressing us with the stress kit
I pushed away any woman I could connect with
That's the shit you do when you deal with being molested
Infested with impatience I started aching
Hatred and deep guilt was the deadliest combination
Am I scarred, am I flawed, am I gay then?
I've always loved women, that can't be the explanation
How do I take the rage, bury it deep inside
Cover it with a smile but eventually it will rise
Eventually it will tie a knot in your soul and boast
Then you just end up hurting the people you love the most
Fuck it I let it fly, nothing to set aside
It's death for me to lose, I'm already dead inside
Already said my piece, a piece of me fled in spite
Let's set it right, this the hardest shit I'mma ever write
[Hook: Kristyn Price and (A-Plus)
All that lays locked in me
Wasn't mine to hold on to
(The hardest song I could ever write)
And though it plagues a part of me
Don't wanna leave but I got to
(The hardest song I could ever write)
(The hardest song I could ever write)
Don't wanna leave but I got to
We are the victim of school teachers and cruel preachers
Youth coaches and Catholic priests that do reach us
And violated our innocence from within
Now that I'm grown I know that it probably happened to them
A cycle of sickness, where the only eye witness
Is so terrified they'd rather lie than admit this
Or rather omit this and deal with the strain too
But you're never truly free until you put this in plain view
And I know it's like the hardest thing in the world to do
But if you don't, then the person who did it controls you
And owns you, but I got my chance to set it right
This the hardest song I could ever write
[Hook: Kristyn Price and (A-Plus)
All that lays locked in me
Wasn't mine to hold on to
(The hardest song I could ever write)
And though it plagues a part of me
Don't wanna leave but I got to
(The hardest song I could ever write)
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