I got two straws in here in case one breaks down
You know crazy straws, they go all over the place
These fucking straws are sane
They never lost their mind
They said "we are going straight to the mouth
That fucker that takes awhile to get there, he's crazy"
I - vending machines are a big part of my life
I like when you reach into the vending machine to grab your candy bar
That flip goes up to block you from reaching up
That's a good invention
Before that it was hard times for the vending machine owners
"What kind of candy bar are you getting?"
"That one, and every one on the bottom row"
I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines
It would have to be real fucking big
I was going to get a candy bar
The button I was suppose to push was 'HH'
I went to the side I found the 'H' button, I pushed it twice
Fucking potato chips came out man
Because they had an 'HH' button for
Christ sakes, you need to let me know
I'm not familiar with the concept of 'HH'
I did not learn my 'AA', 'BB', 'CC's
God God dammit dammit
I get the Reese's candy bar, but if you read that name Reese's
That's an apostrophe 'S'
Reese's apostrophe 'S" on the end of that name
That means the candy bar's his
I didn't know that
Next time you are eating a Reese's
Candy bar and a guy named Reese comes by
And says "let me have that"
You better hand it over
"I'm sorry Reese, I didn't think I'd ever run into you
You're a fucking bully man
Let me at least have a piece"
Kit-Kat candy bar has the name Kit-Kat imprinted into the chocolate
That robs you of chocolate
That's a clever chocolate saving technique
I go down to the factory
"You owe me some letters"
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