I was gonna have my teeth whitened
But then I said "fuck that, I'll just get a tan instead"
I got some tartar control toothpaste
I still got tartar, but that shit's under control
If the tartar gets out of line, I'm like "come on you know the deal
Fall in, crazy ass tartar"
I got so much tartar I don't have to dip my fishsticks in shit
That's - that's actually kind of gross
After that joke I clarifying that I'm just joking
I don't know how much tartar I actually have
I believe it's an average amount
If we all did a tartar test right now,
My name would be right in the fucking middle
I would like to go fishing and catch a fishstick
That would be convenient
I could easily get a job at Mrs. Paul's
Say "just put me in a boat with some empty boxes
And I will return them to the freezer
Section of your neighborhood grocery store"
You know there is a fishing show on TV
Where they catch the fish but they let it go
They don't want to eat the fish,
But they do want to make it late for something
"Where were you?"
"I got caught"
"Bullshit, let me see the inside of your lip"
Fish are always eating other fish
If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as shit
You would not want to submerge your head
Nothing but fish going "Ah, fuck
I thought I looked like that rock"
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