Hey this joke's on the first CD but I added a new line
I can't fucking rob you of this one
I got a ant farm
Them fellas didn't grow shit
I said "come on, what about some celery?
You fuckers don't farm
Plus, if I tore your legs off, you would look like snowmen
That's-that's the part that's not on the old CD
And you can smoke in Minnesota clubs right?
Can you?
(You can)
I can - oh, who the fuck am I?
Mitch Hedberg, that's right
I like to smoke a pipe cause it's the punchline indicator
Whenever I take a hit of the pipe, you fuckers should be laughing
Not yet though, I haven't said shit
I'll give you an example
You know when they show someone on
TV washing their hair under a waterfall
That's fucking bullshit man
Cause that thing would knock you on your ass
No you didn't laugh hard
Whose that guy whose got the cool laugh up here?
I hope that fuckers miked
I'd hate for this show to go unnoticed
The only problem with having a distinctive
Laugh is I know exactly when your not laughing
"Oh, distinctive laugh doesn't think that joke was funny"
Yeah, so I think we should only get
Three honks a month on the car horn
Because people honk the car too much
Three honks the limit and then someone cuts you off
You press your horn, nothing happens
You're like "shit,
I wish I would of went to see Ricky on the sidewalk"
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