Sam: Kermit, let's begin.
Describe the day you played Berlin
Constantine: We rehearsed and then we walked about
We ate bratwurst and sauerkraut
Jean: That night at ten o' three
Were you inside the portrait gallery?
Constantine: From ten o'clock to ten o' four
Was when we did the show encore
Sam: Hmm, Frog we've got our doubts
Can you confirm your whereabouts?
Constantine: My alibi is watertight
The audience saw me sing all night
Jean: Monsieur we know you did the crime
Constantine: I was on stage that whole time
Ask who sang "Rainbow Connection"
Sam and Jean: Thank you Kermit, no more questions
Jean: Hello, I think it's time for good cop, romantic cop
Jean: Miss Piggy, you could end up locked inside
Now's your chance to save your hide
Miss Piggy: Gentlemen, I did not know
It's a crime to steal the show
Sam: Tell us how the art was taken
Jean: If you want to save your bacon
Miss Piggy: I haven't seen your missing art
All I've stolen is audience hearts
Sam: We can give you a plea deal
Jean: All you have to do is squeal
Miss Piggy: I'm not a thief, I don't know how
All I've ever taken is a bow
Jean: We'll catch the swine that did this job
Miss Piggy: Give up the pig puns, creep
Go jump in a lake, that's my suggestion
Sam and Jean: Thank you Piggy, no more questions
Jean: I think she likes me
Sam: I don't think your puns are helping the investigation
Jean: You know, I think they did it
Sam: No they didn't
Jean: Yes they did, and we can pin it
Sam: If they did, how did they do it?
Jean: If they didn't, how did they didn't?
Sam: If they didn't then it's easy, 'cause they simply didn't do it
Jean: If they did it, then I knew it, but we've nothing that can prove it
Jean: Oh, excuse me
Sam: Uh
Jean: Bring in the purple guy with the shnozz
Do you remember what you did
On the night you played Madrid?
Gonzo: I was hit by a raging bull
And rushed off stage to the hospital
Jean: Gonzo, what do you know
About the sculpture theft at Madrid's Prado?
Gonzo: I never saw the stolen busts
I spent the night in bed concussed
Sam: The truth Gonzo, the clock is tickin'
Gonzo: If you don't believe me, ask the chicken
Camilla was there, she'll co-operate
Jean: Madam, are you willing to corroborate?
Camilla: Bawk bawk begawk, begawk gawk gawk
Sam: Will someone get this chicken out of here
Gonzo: Calm down Camilla, it's a routine inspection
Sam and Jean: Thank you Gonzo, no more questions
Let's go from the start
What do you know about the stolen art?
Lew Zealand: I didn't know there was a plan
Floyd: Your accusation is far out man
Bunsen: The chances of us committing a crime
Are less than .009
Swedish Chef: Shern de shern de herf
Sher de chicky en de farney hug
Jean: To help with our investigation
Can you do a full translation?
Translator: What the chef just said to you
Was "Schnoop do schnnop do schnook"
It's not Swedish
Animal: Aaaarghh!!!
Penguins: Wank wank wank
Fozzie: I can do an Elvis impression?
Sam and Jean: Thank you Muppets, no more questions!
Jean: They didn't
Sam: No, they didn't
Jean: There's no way they did the crime
Sam: They couldn't they're too stupid
Jean: They're not criminal masterminds
Sam: We do not know who did it, but we know who didn't do it
Sam and Jean: So we know who didn't do it yes we know who didn't do it
Jean: They're incapable of being culpable!
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