I just spent a month in Scotland doing shows
After one of my shows there, a woman comes
Up and she goes, "Todd, can I talk to you?"
I go, "Yeah."
She goes, "Can I ask you a question?"
I go, "What's that?"
She goes, "Todd, are you gay?"
I was like, "What was that?"
She goes, "Todd, are you gay?"
"Oh, am I gay? No, I'm not gay. Why do you ask if I'm gay?"
"Well, I was watching you on stage and I'm thinking, 'Ooh
This guy's gay.'" I go, "What about my performance was gay?"
She goes, "I don't know, your timing."
"Really? I have gay timing?"
And I started thinking about it and I'm like, "You know, I do speak
Slowly. And I guess in the space between my jokes I could meet a man
Fall in love, take the train to Canada, and make it all legal."
And the weirdest thing that happened that night, there's a tap on
My shoulder while I'm sleeping. I turn around, it's my timing
My timing's like, "Todd, buddy, I gotta talk to you about something
I've been meaning to get this off my chest. Todd, I'm gay."
I'm like, "All these years? Almost 17 years of
Comedy and you've been carrying this around?"
Comments (0)