(That famous day in history the men of the 7th Cavalry went riding on)
(And from the rear a voice was heard)
(A brave young man with a trembling word rang loud and clear)
What am I doin' here?
Please Mr. Custer, I don't wanna go
Hey, Mr. Custer, please don't make me go
I had a dream last night about the comin' fight
Somebody yelled "attack!"
And there I stood with a arrow in my back.
Please Mr. Custer, I don't wanna go (forward Ho!)--aaww
SPOKEN: Look at them bushes out there
They're moving and there's a injun behind every one
Hey, Mr. Custer-you mind if I be excused the rest of the afternoon?
HEY CHARLIE, DUCK YER HEAD!
Hmm, you're a little bit late on that one, Charlie
Hooh, I bet that smarts!
(They were sure of victory, the men of the 7th Cavalry, as they rode on)
(But then from the rear a voice was heard)
(That same brave voice with the trembling word rang loud and clear)
What am I doin' here?
Please Mr. Custer, I don't wanna go
Listen, Mr. Custer, please don't make me go
There's a redskin a-waitin' out there, just fixin to take my hair
A coward I've been called cuz I don't wanna wind up dead or bald
Please Mr. Custer, I don't wanna go (forward HO)--aaww
SPOKEN: I wonder what the injun word for friend is
Let's see--friend-- kemo sabe, that's it
KEMO SABE!, HEY OUT THERE, KEMO SABE!
Nope, that itn't it
Look at them durned injuns
Theyre runnin' around like a bunch of wild Indians-heh, heh, heh
Nah, this ain't no time for jokin'
About This Song
"Mr. Custer" is a darkly comedic novelty song that presents the Battle of Little Bighorn from the perspective of a terrified cavalry soldier who desperately wants to avoid the doomed mission. The song captures themes of fear, powerlessness, and the absurdity of war through the voice of a reluctant participant who has prophetic dreams about his own death but is forced to march forward anyway. Musically, it features a traditional country/folk style with spoken-word narration that builds dramatic tension, punctuated by the soldier's increasingly panicked pleas to General Custer. The song's distinctive blend of historical tragedy and gallows humor creates a memorable anti-war statement that resonates with anyone who has felt trapped by circumstances beyond their control. Its enduring appeal lies in how it transforms a famous military disaster into a relatable human story about ordinary people caught in extraordinary and terrifying situations.
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