Nothin' ever (ever) happens in this town
Feelin' low down (down), not a lot to do around here
I thought that I would go right out of my mind
Until a friend told me the news
He said, "Hey, you know that vacant lot
Right beside the gas station? Well, somebody bought it
And on that spot they're gonna build a shop
Where we can go buy bolts and screws"
Since then I've been walking on air (air)
I can barely brush my teeth or comb my hair
'Cause I'm so excited and I really don't care
I've been waiting since last June
For this day to finally arrive
I'm so happy (happy) now just to be alive
'Cause any minute now I'm gonna be inside
Well, I hope they open soon
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
In my sleeping bag I camped out overnight
Right in front of the store, then as soon as it was light out
I pressed my nose right up against the glass
You know, I had to be first in line
Gonna get me a flashlight and a broom
Want a pair of pliers for every single room of my house
See those hacksaws? Very, very soon
One of them will be all mine
Guys with nametags walking down the aisles
Rows of garden hoses that go on for miles and miles
Brand new socket wrenches in a plethora of styles
All arranged alphabetically
And they're doing a promotional stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says every 27th customer
Will get a ball peen hammer free
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open up that door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
(Would you look at all that stuff)
They've got...
Allen wrenches
Gerbil feeders
Toilet seats
Electric heaters
Trash compactors
Juice extractor
Shower rods and
Water meters
Walkie-talkies
Copper wires
Safety goggles
Radial tires
BB pellets
Rubber mallets
Fans and dehumidifiers
Picture hangers
Paper cutters
Waffle irons
Window shutters
Paint removers
Window louvres
Masking tape and
Plastic gutters
Kitchen faucets
Folding tables
Weather stripping
Jumper cables
Hooks and tackle
Grout and spackle
Power foggers
Spoons and ladels
Pesticides for fumigation
High-performance lubrication
Metal roofing
Water proofing
Multi-purpose insulation
Air compressors
Brass connectors
Wrecking chisels
Smoke detectors
Tire gauges
Hamster cages
Thermostats
And bug deflectors
Trailer hitch demagnetizers
Automatic circumcisers
Tennis rackets
Angle brackets
Duracells and Energizers
Soffit panels
Circuit breakers
Vacuum cleaners
Coffee makers
Calculators
Generators
Matching salt and pepper shakers
I can't wait, (no I) I can't wait (oh when)
When are they gonna open the door?
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
I'm goin' (yes I'm) goin', I'm a-goin' to the
Goin' to the (hard) ware I'm goin', really goin' to the
Goin' (hard) I'm goin' to the (hard) oh yes, I'm goin' to the
Hardware store
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